One day, Justin Boudreau, my co-author, was teaching high school. But on this particular day he decided to start his lesson in a different way. In silence, on one side of the chalkboard, he wrote, “Here I Am.” On the other side, he wrote, “There You Are.” Then he placed a chair in the front of the class and asked the class, “Which one represents you best?” He gave his students time to reflect on the two quotes.

Michelle McBride stood up first. Michelle has long red curly hair with freckles, and she wore round John Lennon-like eyeglasses that made her appear very professional. She was by far the most outspoken and well-spoken student Justin had ever taught. Even her walk to the chair in the front of the room commanded respect. She sat down, faced her classmates and addressed them almost as if they were a jury in a courtroom. Michelle said, “Here I am, because I am confident, I am secure and I am proud of who I am. I am Here so Here I am.” As she walked back to her seat, Justin was thinking to himself, “You Go Sister! Girl Power!! Spice Girls and Power Puff Girls, unite!”

The next student who chose to share his opinion was Adam Thornton. Adam is a total Jock. He is captain of the basketball team and so confident that he has his very own particular way of walking. It looked like he might have been walking on springs. Adam sat in the chair and said, “Here I am. I need to prove to my teammates that I can put up points on the board; if not, I do not get the ball. Plus, as the captain I have to lead my team.” Then Adam got up and returned to his chair giving hi-fives to the cool kids all the way back down the aisle, as if he were being introduced on the starting line up at a game.

Next up came Beth Duplesis: Principal’s list in Academics, elected to the student government since her freshman year, and active in several team sports and several committees. Can you say, “Well-rounded”? Beth sat in the chair and stated confidently, “Here I am. If I do not believe in myself, how can I ask teachers, parents and friends to trust in me?”

By this time, Justin was thinking to himself, “Wow, I am the greatest teacher in the world! I have not had to say a single word. The students are teaching the class today! My lesson plan has created such an inspirational message!”

Just as Justin was thinking so highly of himself, the unexpected happened. Scott Everett stood so abruptly - without raising his hand - that his chair banged loudly against the desk in back of him. Scott is very respected by most, if not all, cliques in the school. He is so real, so honest, and he always respects students for who they are. No one can talk badly about Scott because he is Scott.

Scott is, however, an introvert. Participating in classroom discussions is not something he does, even though he turns in papers that are insightful and wise. But he was standing now and walking toward the chair. As he sat down, he shot Justin a look - a look that clearly expressed disgust. Justin could not imagine why Scott was giving him this look during Justin’s greatest class exercise. This was troubling, especially since Scott and Justin got along so well.


Being shy, Scott addressed his fellow students with his head down, staring at his hand, which trembled slightly. He said, “If we all started saying ‘There You Are,’ there would no longer be a need for us to say ‘Here I Am.’ It is sad that we live in a world where in order to get attention we have to shine the light on ourselves, instead of using our light to shine on others. More of us saying, ‘There You Are,’ and calling attention to the good in people around us would make a better world.”

The classroom broke into applause and Justin probably applauded the loudest. Scott had spoken a profound truth.

There You Are!
Acknowledgements and compliments can be life changing. In a seminar I gave about giving compliments, people were asked to think of a compliment they received long ago. A young woman in the back of the crowded room stood up and held back tears as she spoke. She said, “This might not even sound like a compliment, but two years ago my teacher said to me, ‘You’re not using all your power,’ and it was the first time anyone had told me I even had power. Well, I’ve been powerful ever since!” By how powerfully she spoke, there wasn’t a disbeliever in the room. Another person acknowledging her (There You Are!) had changed her life forever.

Francis
Martin Latulippe was 18 and living with a family who had a 15-year-old son named Francis. Francis had a way with always making people around him feel important. He always had kind words for people. “Nice hair. Nice clothes. Thank you for being my friend. You’re great. I love you.” Martin lived with Francis and his family for 2 years (as part of playing Junior Hockey League) and later was traded to another team and moved. Two months after the move, he received a terrible phone call: Francis’s car had been hit by a train. Francis was dead. He was only 17.



Martin flew back for the funeral. Martin describes it this way: “There were so many people there, and people of all types and all cliques. Everyone wanted to express how thankful they’d been for Francis in their life. ‘I remember that day when I thought I was fat, Francis told me that I was looking good,’ said one. ‘I remember that day when I thought about suicide and Francis told me how unique I was and smiled at me’, said another. The remarks went on and on. Francis had touched them all with kindness.” Martin has never forgotten the lesson he learned from Francis. Being friendly and giving kindness go are the best gifts you can give to people, everywhere you go.

You Gotta Try This!
This quiz was circulated on the Internet. Take it:
1. Name the 5 wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last 5 Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last 5 winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best
actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do? The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name 3 friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name 5 people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated
and special.
5. Think of 5 people you enjoy spending time with.
6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.


Easier? The lesson? The people who make a difference in your life are NOT the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care! Take a minute to think of how often you are given acknowledgements. Once a day? Twice a day? Every day? Now think of the most special compliment you have ever received? Who gave it to you? How did it make you feel? It’s a great feeling isn’t it! Now imagine how your classroom, your school, your friendships and your family relationships would be if you acknowledged others more often?

List 5 people that you would most want to acknowledge for helping you in your life and why:

1. ______________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________

List 5 people you’d like to compliment and make feel better about themselves:

1. ______________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________